little girls. big panties.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
see i've never been small.
or little.
or petite.
i've never been referred to as any such word
similar to the ones above.
even as a foetus about to be received into this world..
i was in more words than one... HUGE!
i was a whopping 4.4kg.
however i shld acct that to the fact
that i was born two weeks late.
two weeks!
but who am i kidding..
we all know babies dont really grow much at that stage..
so my poor mother..
who till this day still blame me for this..
had to be cut open..
the procedure back then was shabby and completely lacking of skill.
that left my mother with a scar.
plaguing her life
as she nightly scratches her abdomen.
despite my sister being small and able to exit the natural way..
there was no other option but to repeat the dreadful procedure again.
lemme just say that in 3 years the procedure still remained the same.
the grueling procedure repeated.
all over again.
try that for size.
my poor mother.
so as you can see my readers..
it is my gigantic and unorthodox size that has caused my mother pain..
my birth was the beginning of years of body fats, futile exercising
and acceptance that my mother's body would never be the same fit
small and compact size that it was before.
not only did i get a disease
(which i believe to be low metabolism)
but i seemed to have passed it on to others.
so i am a cursed big sized girl for the rest of my life.
and i cannot run away from this fate.
we must make the most of what god has given us.
so what am i gonna do about this?
NOTHING.
despite all my yearning to be slim and petite and slender and what not..
i love my body the way it is.
in all its fat glory. ;)
ps. i was just going mad for a moment there.
i know i dont make sense.
but im having headache.
--insignificant lies--
11:13 pm
